NOT QUITE A KNOCKOUT

Tuesday, March 22, 2022

Helston Athletic Thirds 1 Penryn Athletic Reserves 1

WHEN IS A CUP TIE NOT A CUP TIE? When it’s a league game, of course. But what if that league game feels like a cup tie? What if it has that winner-takes-all vibe that makes knockout football so enthralling, so thrilling? What if the destination of some sporting silverware rests heavily on the final result, almost like a cup final? Well, then it’s still a league game but one that is channelling the inner glory that makes cup football the most beautiful version of the beautiful game. And that makes it a must-see match for a cup football blogger to get excited about.

So let me take you, dear reader, to Kellaway Park, Helston, on a cold, early spring evening for a league match masquerading as a cup tie. (By the way, it’s always chilly at Kellaway even though we are way down south. I have been here to watch games in the company of hardcore Northerners and even they were shivering. It must be some sort of meteorological anomaly. Or Northerners aren’t as weather-resistant as they like us soft Southerners to think they are!)

However, wrapped in about four layers, a woolly hat and with my jacket hood up, I was ready for some hot action on the pitch to keep my footballing soul warm, even if my feet didn’t properly heat up again until about two hours after getting home.

So what fixture had got me so hot under the footballing collar? Well, not one I ever imagined would get me so excited. When I started this blog five or six seasons ago, I imagined a raft of FA Vase, FA Cup and FA Trophy matches would be my staple cup-tie diet, with the added bonus of watching Devon and Cornwall’s top teams battling it out in the Carlsberg (as it was then) South West Peninsula League Walter C Parson Funeral Directors League Cup. Regular readers (Hello Dad) will know that I think that is the cup competition with the best name of all.

The possibility of getting so involved in watching a potential title decider in grassroots league football never really crossed my mind, but that is what we had here. Helston’s Third XI and their rivals from Penryn Reserves are battling it out to be crowned LWC Drinks Cornwall Combination League champions and this game would go a long way to deciding who would lift the crown. That was why this fixture had such an edge, such a tension, that it really did feel like a cup match.

Helston started the night three points ahead of their nearby visitors, both teams having played 21 games in what is a 28-match league season. So a win for the home-team Blues would virtually seal the title, while the visiting Reds really needed a victory to keep their own hopes alive. Helston’s Twitter feed asked before the match if it was a title-decider and concluded that it probably was. Mind you, the same Twitter feed said that kick-off would be at 7.30pm, then 7pm, then 7.30pm again. The FA’s Full-Time website leant towards a 7pm start so, having left home a bit late, I raced to get to Kellaway just before seven. It kicked off at 7.31pm. Oh well, at least I had time for a much-needed toilet break before the game did eventually start!

Incidentally, the loos were very clean and tidy, with a bright blue “Helston Athletic FC” sign on the wall and deodorant mats in the urinals from “Alwees Fresh”, which made me smile. Too much detail? OK, moving swiftly on.

Now, I have lived in Cornwall since 2009 but it takes a long time to not only be treated like a local down here but also to actually feel like one. But this felt like a proper Cornish community occasion and I felt like a genuine part of it. This was a grassroots game, a match in a competition which has little or no recognition or relevance outside of the western half of the Duchy and I was really nervous about it, really tense about it, it really mattered to me. Maybe, just maybe, a little bit of Cornish-ness has seeped into my soul. Proper job.

I have a lot of time for both of these clubs. I live in Penryn so am now a ‘Rynner at heart, but Helston feels like a club that is doing things right, that is making all the right moves on and off the pitch, a club that really is at the heart of its community. But sometimes it seems like I am in the minority of Cornish football supporters in feeling that way as there seems to be a lot of hate for Helston on the local football forums at the moment. I think it’s jealousy.

A decade ago, Helston’s first team was winning the Combination, now it is their third team who are looking to lift the same title. The first team is now playing in the Toolstation Western League, at Step Five of the Non-League Pyramid, after winning promotion to the SWPL and then being “upwardly moved” to the Western League for this season. In the meantime, Kellaway Park has been improved out of all recognition, from being basically an open field into a proper fenced-in football ground with excellent floodlights.

These are all signs of ambition and success, traits which often bring out the grumbling football naysayers, not only in Cornwall but across the UK. I, for one, though, salute and congratulate Helston on their progress – especially the lights, which mean there are now more midweek fixtures for me to go to watch. Whoo hoo!

Tuesday night’s league/cup/league encounter turned out to be a truly excellent advert for local football. As might have been expected, it was competitive and combative but, at times, the level of play was far higher than you might expect to see in a grassroots clash. And these two, as the league table suggested, were very evenly matched. Penryn started just the brighter, and missed the best chance of the early part of the match, but Helston always looked dangerous going forward and it was impossible to pick out who would go on to win the points and, perhaps, the title.

Now, I have been extremely lucky with my blog matches over the years and have still yet to see a goalless draw. The nearest I came was when Truro City and Forest Green Rovers were stuck at 0-0 after 90 minutes of an FA Trophy game but the tie went into extra time and was settled by an excellent winner from the Cotswolds side. However, as Tuesday’s game moved towards half-time with the sides, as they say, cancelling each other out and actual goalmouth action being at a premium, I began to contemplate the possibility of a nil-nil draw. The game was so absorbing that I decided I really wouldn’t mind but, two minutes before the break, the deadlock was broken and that goal-shy thought was put to bed.

It was the visitors who took the lead, Kyle Cooke slotting home a cross from the left and, on the balance of play, it was probably just about what Penryn deserved. Now, if they could hold on for the three points they would go level at the top of the table with Helston and actually ahead of them on goal difference. What they really needed to do now was to try to keep playing to the same standard, continue to keep the hosts at arm’s-length and, above all, not do anything silly.

Oh dear.

Ten minutes into the second half, the Penryn keeper decided to channel his inner Manuel Neuer and become a sweeper-keeper. A ball was played through the middle and, instead of letting his defence try to recover, he came charging way outside of his box, way, way out of his box, but was beaten to the pass by a Helston attacker, leading to the inevitable foul. Despite his protestations that there were plenty of Penryn defenders in the vicinity, the ref decided to brandish the red card. Cue a proper flare-up as players from both sides charged in to have their say, accompanied by plenty of pushing, shoving and macho posturing. Inevitably, none of that changed the ref’s decision and the keeper had to go, throwing his shirt to the floor as he stormed off. Told you it was all a bit tense.

The sending-off swung the footballing pendulum in Helston’s favour and they levelled things up just six minutes later, Harry Luckett firing home past the stand-in keeper.

So, 1-1 and most of the crowd of 102 paying souls seemed to believe that Helston would now go on to get the winner and virtually seal the championship. Penryn, on the other hand, didn’t believe that at all. They knew a draw was a better result for Helston than for them and so, in true cup football style, they pushed forward in search of their own winner. It was, as I may have mentioned, pretty tense, an atmosphere that was added to as we played seven minutes of ever more desperate injury time.

The reactions at the final whistle were mixed. Helston roared as if they had won the title, Penryn were physically and emotionally shattered as they knew their brave efforts were not enough, and I was momentarily baffled. You see, I had so bought into the cup-tie nature of the whole event that I was expecting extra-time and penalties – I had virtually forgotten that it was a league game.

I would definitely have enjoyed an extra thirty minutes of lively footballing action but the Blues of Helston were more than happy for the game to end in regulation time. After all, if they hadn’t actually delivered a final knockout blow to Penryn’s title hopes, they had definitely enjoyed a points victory. It’s going to take something extraordinary for them not to claim the Combo crown now.

PICTURES: Search for “Peter Harlow” on Facebook and there you will find a selection of fuzzy snapshots taken on my phone.